


Like real possums do

by demonicSea



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Based off of a role play, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other, dont take it seriously, this is a joke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-05 02:39:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21206075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demonicSea/pseuds/demonicSea
Summary: Dave Strider is currently taking care of two children, Dani and Diravosohn. Karkat Vantas is jealous, and gets advice from Sollux. From there on, things get weird.(Also lowbloods can make themselves faint as a defense mechanism)





	Like real possums do

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to the spongebob OST while writing this.
> 
> Also there will be updates i just dont feel like doing the whole 1/? Thing

Your name is Dave Strider, and you are currently taking care of two beautiful children. “Daddy I like communism!” Diravosohn says in a very chirpy voice. Dave laughed, not concerned in the slightest about what his child just said.  
“What’s communism?” Dani asked. Before Dave could answer his daughter, his son pulled out a gun. “Diravosohn! Put that down!” Dave scolded. He didn’t like yelling at children, but Karkat would kill them all if blood was all over the carpet. Knowing the two children, there would be a shootout in the living room unless someone were to stop them. “How about we play a game of connect four?” Dave suggested. None of children looked interested. God, Dave wondered where Karkat was.

NeW POV TIME

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you absolutely hate life. Your boyfriend, now fiancé, Dave Strider, recently adopted two bratty children, and has been spoiling them rotten despite your words. That didn’t matter right now. What mattered right now, was the fact that you are currently drinking human alcohol in the most unsanitary place on Alternia. Gog, why won’t the thoughts go away?  
“2up, KK. Ro2e told me you were bummed out, 2o ii came to 2ee what2 up.” Sollux said, walking into the McDonald’s rip off.  
“He left me for two human infants.” Karkat mumbled. Sollux sat next to him, patting his back.  
“Do you want two talk about it?” Sollux asked. Karkat shook his head. That was the last thing he wanted to do.  
“Well then do you want adviice?” His friend asked again. He silently nodded this time. Sollux sat up, grabbed his hand, and pulled him out of the restaurant.  
“Ok. Do you remember anythiing your lu2u2 taught you?” Sollux asked. Karkat shook is head. Sollux sighed, and signaled him to pay attention.  
“This is a defense mechanism, but 2iince we dont need it anymore, we can abuse it. Now dont freak out.” Sollux ordered. He took a deep breath, then fell to the floor. Karkat stared at his friend, expecting him to get up. Nothing happened.  
“Sollux?” Still no answer. Fuck. He quickly dropped down by his friend, shaking him.  
“Wake up, you idiot!” He yelled. Sollux finally stirred, then sat up and shooed Karkat away.  
“Ii told you not two freak out. iits a defense mechanism. If you focu2 on all the fear iin your liife, you can do iit. Try iit!” The gemini said. Karkat looked at him as if he was crazy, but decided to give it a try. He focused on everything he feared. Communism. Babies. The GBH. Gamzee. Then everything blacked out.

When he opened his eyes, Sollux was standing over him, typing on his phone.  
“What... happened?” He mumbled. Sollux looked at him,  
“iit worked, thats what. Now all you have to do i2 two go to 2triider, and do that.” The double guy said. Karkat got up, rubbing his head.  
“Wont that scare him...?” He grumbled.  
“That2 the point. He wiill have to give the kiids two a grubsiiter, and take care of you.” Sollux said. Karkat wondered if that would actually work.  
“Alright, fine. If anything goes wrong, i am blaming you.” The crab growled. He brushed off his pants, waved goodbye, and walked to his hive. Gog he hoped this will work.

Dave time

Dave gave the two kids a bucket of icecream to keep them distracted until Karkat came home. Then there was a knock on the door. Speak of the devil. He got up, telling the kids to stay (last time they say Karkat, they tried killing him with lances) then made his way towards the door. He opened it, and as expected, there was a short, angry crab on his doorstep.  
“Hey, babe. Where’ve you been?” He asked. Karkat didnt answer him.  
“Dude are you okay?” He asked again, a bit more worried. Karkat was never silent after being gone a long time.  
“I feel... dizzy....” Karkat murmured, then fell to the floor.


End file.
